Восхвалятельное воскресенье

[transurfer]

За что вы на этой неделе хотели бы себя похвалить?
Если не хочется говорить об этом или не кажется, что есть, за что хвалить, просто поставьте эмодзи с обнимашкой в коммменты 🤗

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[h_kitty]

Как обычно, вне контекста не очень смешно, но просто научник типа обещал мне, что он всячески мою кандидатуру поддержит для докторантуры итп, академически грумил насчет того, какая я талантливая, а когда не взяли, написал как ни в чем не бывало "давай сосредоточимся на статье [очень хочет быть соавтором], это максимально повысит твои шансы при следующей возможности):
DOCUMENT 1 — FULL BUNKER TRANSCRIPT

Transcript obtained from reconstructed notes, April 1945.
Declassified by the International Commission on Academic Misconduct.

14:02 — Meeting begins. Atmosphere: catastrophic.

General 1:
Mein Führer, the Soviets are three blocks away.

General 2:
The situation is untenable.

General 3:
Supplies have run out. Morale is… theoretical.

A strange tapping is heard outside the bunker door.

14:04 — Herr Adler enters

Carrying a large folder labeled: “Danube Landscape: FINAL (for real this time)”

Herr Adler (SP):
Adolf… hello!
Let’s use the next opportunity :)
In the meantime, let’s focus on that Danube landscape.

The bunker goes silent, as if God pressed mute.

14:05 — Generals reacting

General 1 (whispering):
Mein Führer… who is this man?

General 2:
He keeps muttering about “next opportunity.”
Is there a front we can still win??

General 3 (hopeful):
A breakthrough, perhaps?

14:06 — Hitler explains, with the defeated dignity of a man discussing dental bills

Adolf Hitler:
Please, don’t mind him.
This is my ex-supervisor, Herr Adler.

He once told me I was talented
(well, maybe I am, but not in the way he meant)
and promised I would become Herr Doktor Hitler under his supervision.

Since then, he believes we will co-author a Danube landscape.
…It’s complicated.

14:07 — Collective existential crisis

General 2:
So… there is no new opportunity?

Hitler (solemn):
He first mentioned that opportunity
right after Stalingrad.

And we all know how it has gone since then.

A heavy silence descends.

14:08 — General 3’s accidental brilliance

General 3:
Mein Führer…
What if we ask him for a reference letter?

Hitler closes his eyes, nods slowly.

Hitler:
Yes.
If you ask him for a reference letter…
he will disappear.

14:09 — THE TRAP IS SET

General 1:
Herr Adler?
We would appreciate a reference—

Adler (SP):
Ah—oh—I—
Well—
Let’s revisit that later—
Next opportunity—
Must run—
Busy—
Landscapes—
Deadlines—

He vanishes like an academic ghost fleeing responsibility.

14:10 — Collective Sigh of Relief

General 2:
Thank God.
For a moment, I thought we had to deal with him.

General 3:
Yes.
The collapse of the Reich is manageable.
Dealing with that man? Impossible.

General 1:
He is more frightening than the Soviets.

General 2:
At least the Soviets show up on time.

14:12 — Meeting adjourned.

History resumes collapsing, but now without academic interference.

[transurfer]

Отлично ))) Почему у меня стойкое чувство, что он вернется? )))